Basil: A Ghost In The Canvas | Hira Pendleton

Pedro Figueras via Pexels

I was never one to believe in the supernatural. In a way, that hasn’t changed. Regardless of which, yesterday, I saw a ghost. An odd way to start an article covering an artist’s interview (if this constitutes as one), but believe me, hand on my heart, by the end of it all, everything will make sense.

You all know of the elusive “Basil.” I need not say here the vastness of their past body of work, nor the richness and depth of every single piece he had wrought upon this broken world, all of which serving as broken mirrors to our existence. I’ve written everything there is to be said about them before, including their eventual reception of patronage from Sign Tempore, their shift to digital art,and how it has affected their works, marking a period of monotony, repetitiveness and self-derivativity. It pained me to see yet  another artist fall victim to corporatization, and be shackled by the uniform standards of out of touch executives. It ruins art, robs it of flavor, erases the soul.

But recently, something changed.

Their latest piece uploaded on first glance is simply a shattered image composed of numerous shades of black, with “WHO AM I?” etched into its surface in colorless ink, in their signature handwriting echoing that of their text-based works in years past. It imposes, dares us to ask. But to whom it is directed? Us, or Basil? The next sequence of artworks follow a similar existential theme, in many different forms but all incorporate photography altered with advanced editing techniques, giving it a dreamlike quality. Viewing the different photographs, of views inside a childhood home, of strewn about toys, restaurants, blurry visages of people he might’ve known, it feels like he’s depicting the process of remembering, how vague and colored our lenses are when viewing past events.

At least, that’s what it looked like on first glance.

An astute reader of this blog had emailed me a zoomed in picture of one image in microscopic detail. Embedded within each pixel, a phrase can be read.

“Is this me?”

That question, in chained repetition, populates the surface under each altered photograph. From corner to corner, edge to edge, it repeats. Ad nauseam. Ad infinitum. That moment, when I first examined that email, a deep uncomfortable feeling rose up in my stomach. I could feel every single strand of hair raise to standing on my neck. It became clear who that “who am I” they asked on that fateful day is for. They have denied every single interview request in the past, but this had to change. As Basil’s #1 essayist, who has followed their career since their inception, I had to know. Thus, as you all readers may already know, I posted a public invitation for Basilto “come and have coffee with me.”

Wouldn’t you know it, within minutes of posting, the burner phone I listed on the invitation rang.

“My agent will meet you at a Starbucks on the address and time listed on the upcoming text. But first, are you sure you want this interview?” The voice on the phone asked. Something didn’t sound right. Something about the way they spoke.

“Yes.” I answered.

“You may not comprehend, let alone like what you see.” The voice added.

“That’s what I’m counting on.” I replied.

“Understood. I shall send you the details.”

After that, the call ended and I received a text with the details of the meeting. It was afternoon, around 4:30 PM, and the text’s appointed time of meeting was 6:00 PM. When I arrived at the starbucks, I was greeted with a well-dressed man wearing a black suit, and thin rimmed glasses. He was not Basil, as according to him, Basil’s current condition barred them from travel outside of their studio. However, he could take me to them once and I quote “you are ready.”

Nothing prepared me for what came next.

After a very comfortable ride in a black luxury sedan, I was taken to what seemed an ordinary apartment building. Guided by the man in black, I approached a seemingly ordinary apartment door.

“Basil is waiting for you inside.”

A knock on the door prompted the latch to open. I expected a hand on the other side, but nothing was there. The room inside was dim. Dusty art supplies; canvasses, paintbrushes, and the like lay in front of paint-stained walls. Bookshelves full of knowledge deprived of touch hid alongside the abandoned artisan tools, meeting the same fate.  Cameras from different corners of the room look on, focusing and unfocusing towards me and the room itself. A distinct whirring belonging to a computer’s disk drives permeated the room, a sound which I followed till I stood in front of its source. Four towering monoliths clad in black stands, broadcasting a high-pitched low-volume hum, and in the middle, a small screen, with a keyboard, mouse, and on the side, a drawing tablet that gathered dust just like its more analog counterpart.

No heartbeat other than my own was present that day. Instead, a presence beyond my own comprehension greeted me.

A projector’s lens above the screen I stood in front of lit up.

Then, a ghost emerged from it, staring at me from the other side.

“Hello.” The digital specter greeted me, as what looks to be an approximation of what Basil looked like. Just… a person. Or an approximation of one. A dreadful awe took over me, and I pulled out my notepad.

With that as the cue, the interview began.

“Are you Basil?” I asked my first question. A voice from the electronic aether answered. The very same one on the phone.

“If you are referring to the once ‘living’ breathing person legally named Basil Hallworth, they’re dead. If you are referring to the artist named Basil…” The specter trailed off in the end, and began scrambling like TV static, and the whirring started getting louder.

“Hello?” I asked my second question.

The whirring got louder.

“Are you there?” I asked my third question.

The whirring got louder.

“Basil, are you there?” I asked my fourth.

The whirring got even louder.

“Basil?” I asked my fifth.

Then, a scream pierced the thick fog of white noise emanating from the towers of drives, and the projected specter disappeared, with disjointed light fragments taking its place. A voice, sharp, coarse, like broken glass attempted to vocalize, to answer. The screen under the projector turned on, flashing different images, the very same images that evoked past memories in the artworks I’ve examined.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Are you alright?”

“I DON’T KNOW.”

I smelled something burning, and before I knew it, the whirring stopped and the screen shut down. Everything shut down. I was ushered out not long after by men in black suits, and was driven home. If you are reading this right now, you must have a lot of questions. I know I do. I can theorize all I want but truth be told, I don’t think I will ever come close to knowing what happened to Basil Hallworth. However, I can be sure of one thing.

This is the last article I will ever finish.


Hira Pendleton is a writer with an affinity for personal stories set in fantastical worlds. They enjoy indie games and post-emo music. They can be found at instagram: @hira.pen.

In the Midst of a Pandemic | Dani Zhila

cottonbro Vinh via Pexels

The world has created the ultimate placebo:
Pretending the problem is now in the past.
No panacea from eastern or western medicine can compare.

We have replaced consideration with busyness.
Without time to think, we move forward,
Always forward, toward a future we cannot see.

Yet, playing pretend is still only playing.
People continue to be plagued by illness & death
With fewer people to notice, fewer people to care.

Each day passes, only noted by the sun & the moon.
Chug along, continue on.
Change cannot come with no one to beckon it.


Twitter: @DanielleShojaie

Dani Zhila is a medical student and poet. When she is not studying (which is rare these days), Dani is reading, writing, watching baseball, or playing with her dogs.

Let’s Talk About My New Coat | Trisha Kostis

outsidethccn dsgn via Pexels

The day our corporate chef announced he was stepping down from his exalted position and relinquishing his title, his tricked out office and coveted parking space to me, I went home and stuffed my chef’s pants and skanky grease stained Chef coat into the trash. After 25 years of grinding my fallen arches on punishing cement kitchen floors and herding recalcitrant and semi-sober restaurant employees into submission, I was done cooking for ungrateful customers and falling into bed smelling of fried calamari.

I’ve spent my whole life in uniform: as an angelic tow-headed Catholic School student, a punk waitress and a goth cook.  My “style” was exclusively black, functional and flameproof. A promotion out of the kitchen and into the warm, antiseptic, and serene c-suite felt like a galaxy of Michelin stars.

For once, I needed a wardrobe.

Restaurant folks are not normal people. While delicately weaving pea vines around diver scallops with our fancy tweezers, we serve the public and verbally eviscerate it from the dark corners of our cramped and odorous kitchens. Introverts, social pinheads, addicts, and artists are the nervous system of the dining industry. Kitchens are full of Napoleon Dynamites with sharp knives. It’s the perfect hideaway for someone who doesn’t like attention. Painfully shy and awkward for most of my life, I didn’t use my clothing as much to dress myself as to redact myself. I was perfectly suited for the back of the house.

An executive promotion for a monochromatic 57-year-old woman presented some fashion challenges. I decided to stick to the basic ELLE magazine guidelines for my new ensembles and selected classic pieces that would anchor the cheap shit I planned to buy at the thrift stores. Timeless Chanel inspired blazers and fitted “slacks” made me appreciate my petite five-foot frame, previously a severe hindrance when reaching for the saffron on the top shelf in dry storage.  After years of wearing unisex Chef’s bottoms made of stiff, bulky fabric, slipping into linen trousers too snug for stashing away a porterhouse steak was a revelation.

With most of my new pieces in place, I set my sights on a coat, the decorative fondant of this masterpiece collection. Obsessed with the exhilarating monochromatic couture of Schitt’s Creek doyenne, Moira Rose, I mined the internet searching for “Moira Rose clothes” and “coats that Moira would wear.”  After slipping down a Pinterest sink hole that yielded no information about the availability of Moira knock-offs, I googled several versions of “white and black geometric patterns” until a wool stunner jumped out of the cluster of images on my screen.  It’s promise of “luxury and elegance” at thirty five bucks seemed preposterous. I’ve spent more than that for a beignet and espresso at the patisserie at the Sunday Market. But the model looked fabulous and returns were free so I decided to risk it.

Now, let’s talk about my new coat.

Try to imagine a plushy, wooly winter blanket transformed into a coat and tailored for you by Vera Wang herself and then wear that bitch everywhere. Your coatis a celebrity – Penelope Cruz in Vanilla Sky – with an entourage and paparazzi and its own IG. Consider, for a moment, walking down a bustling city street where people would willingly walk into a power pole rather than make eye contact but now, all the eyes are on your coat.

“Love your coat!”

“Wow, that’s a coat!”

“Your coat is amazing!”

As an introvert, I wasn’t sure how I felt about my coat’s whorish behavior. In Seattle, where I live, there are standards and practices for how to avoid human interaction and we all comply. I fully appreciate the guidelines and willingly uphold the status quo. But this coat, well, she has an agenda.

She’s teaching me. I must be in the right frame of mind before I slip her on; it simply cannot be a reflexive act. Someone will say something. She will get attention.

Women, confused by an article of clothing that can’t be worn to summit Mt. Rainer find themselves spontaneously squealing compliments. Men look twice, not sure exactly why, but compelled nonetheless. I must be ready for worship and that’s an uncomfortable space for me. Too much of that and I start to believe the admiration is deserved, that I did something to earn such adulation.

I was the young girl who wore peasant blouses to conceal a budding bosom during puberty. I was the pregnant girlfriend who went full muumuu in a futile attempt to look anything but pregnant. As I embarked on a career in restaurants, I understood the unsung brilliance and ease of a nondescript uniform and modified my personal wardrobe to mirror my work clothes. It’s kind of amazing what you can get away with when no one notices you.

In the beginning, with her, the attention was so shocking and disarming, that I found myself stammering such inane responses as “it only cost thirty five dollars!” or “I got really lucky with this one, right?!” I’d shake my head in self-recrimination and just feel her judging me for being such a nob. In time, and with practice, I was able to croak a “thank you” and furtively make eye contact.

When I take her out, I’m no longer five feet tall. I tower. When she’s wrapped around me, I’m immune to the chill of winter. I’m on fire. When I’m inside her, I am no longer an older woman. I am embryonic. She is magic.

I’ve patronized the same grocery store for years.  I blend in. They know me as the woman who shops a few days a week, quickly, competently dispatching her groceries at the self-checkout, earphones blocking any possibility of conversation. The other day, as rushed customers swarmed the aisles, I waited in line and pretended I had urgent business with my phone. Through the store noise and chatter, I heard, “OMG I love your coat”.

I removed my earphones through which I was listening to nothing. The woman, a North Face clad, beanie-wearer beamed at me like I was a Kardashian.

“Thank you!” I shot back, sincerely.

“I think that every time you come in here!” added the store clerk, a woman so dour and perpetually irritated that I believed she may have seen me groping the tomatoes three years ago in the produce aisle and resented me ever since.

“You look so fabulous in that coat – like you were born to wear it!”

I wasn’t. But I’m growing into it.


Trisha is a freelance writer living in Seattle. Works can be found in The Independent, Seattle Magazine, and more.

the fine line between self-loving and self-loathing | nat raum

via Co-Star

the fine line between self-loving and self-loathing[1]

you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

(i’m doing shitty too so i really feel this.)

experiment with tenderness.

(i just like…..want to know when this is gonna stop. not just the missing him but the uncertainty of existing in this world.)

almost touch.

(unfortunately the missing is still a big part of it. i crave stability.)

where do these strange ideas come from?

(this. all of this.)


[1] this cento is written from Co-Star daily app notifications and excerpts from a group text conversation from July 2020.


nat raum (b. 1996) is a disabled artist, writer, and genderless disaster from Baltimore, MD. They’re the editor-in-chief of fifth wheel press. Find them online: natraum.com/links. ig/twt @gr8earlofhell

RABBITBRUSH BURNED INTO FRESH ASPHALT | Clem Flowers

Quang Nguyen Vinh via Pexels

A thousand snatches of color comes courtesy of the burned-out light above the Pinball section

area at the Nickelcade next to the graveyard that has all the weird, beautiful giant orbs of color it sets out on the ground around the holidays

 

Straps of flowers stole from the walk to get breakfast every morning hang in twirling strips from the ceiling, same as the thin red peppers your great-aunt Helene kept on strings to dry in her kitchen down in Houma

 

Slow hum of the fan oscillating along your prone form, hitting just like the breeze would when you & your brother would be on the trampoline, bouncing as high as your young legs would let, doing your best impressions of a bullfrog jump to try and see up over the safety netting, out to the woods, where you're both certain a thing of evil lurks & the only thing up for discussion is to whether it's a werewolf or serial killer

 

You have Jimmy Eat World (the one with 5 star banger "The Middle" on it, but the whole album is a banger in of itself) playing on your wireless earbuds you got for a deep discount online & you waited specifically for this pair to go on sale because it was the gaudy pink that just makes your trash fashion gay heart swoon

 

Tomorrow will be hell screaming madness a thousand little lightning strikes of anxiety rage fury rage hell rage hell rage hell hell hell

 

 

Tonight

You're drenched in beauty

You're doused in bliss

& it'll be doubly so

once you're off to bed

with your wife 

& y'all's cuddly cat

 

A thousand snatches of color ricochet off the straps of flowers hanging off the ceiling as the oscillating fan makes them dance to "The Authority Song."

 

drenched in beauty

doused in bliss

 

Silk waves on a windowsil on a rolling desert night


Clem Flowers (They/ Them) is a poet, pizza man lover, happily married& poetry editor of Blue River Review with 3 chaps, a Best of the Net & Pushcart noms. Nb, bi, & queer af. @clem_flowers on Twitter

Sadie Pt. 2 | Cori Diaz

Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels

Her apartment was in bad shape because it was made in the 80’s No, this isn't her fault.

Besides, she’s got hardwood floors

 

A clawfoot tub

 

And a ringing metal furnace

 

What do you do?

 

Me? Well, I do nothing. I wrote poetry once but not anymore You should write again

But I don’t have any words in my head

 

No bloody knife –

 

Antiseptic, maybe,

 

And a bit of gauze.

 

Would you bandage me up if I let you?

 

Would you make me better if I asked?

 

Do you lick me like your cats for this very reason?


Cori Diaz is a poet, playwright, and comedian at NYU Tisch School of the Arts.

IG – @corigrams

Twitter – @bowenyang

Falling Falling Falling | Len Klapdor

Adrien Olichon via Pexels

Every day

In my head

I talk to you

About the Things

The Things You Need To Know

About me

And I ask you all the questions

About the Things I Need To Know About You

***

I watched you while you watched the movie

I think you didn’t see

I hope

Your shuffling feet almost made my heart burst

And I saw what you did with your fingernails

I wanted to offer you the ash tray, that’s where I put the remainder

But then I worried

Worried I was invading

Worried you appreciated the illusion of being unobserved

Worried you might be ashamed

Like I would probably be though I shouldn’t

So I didn’t

I just kept watching from the corner of my eye

How you nibbled away pieces of your fingernails

And collected them in a flap of your chic dress shirt

How you kept them there

All through the movie

And even when you got up to leave

You pinched them between index and middle finger

And tied your shoes with the remaining 8

I could see that you’ve done this a hundred-thousand times before

And I was in awe

***

And then I wish

Wish you’d see me as I see you

Or anyone, really

Wish you’d notice all those details about me

The way I notice all those details

Do you?

Wish you’d tell them back to me so I can see myself

From somebody else’s eyes

For a change

I want to be seen

Caught in the act like a thief in the night

I want this to stop.


Autistic agender writer of spec-fic about cyborgian creatures & the end of patriarchy. Rep’d by @LaurenBieker, words in Etherea Magazine and Flourish Fiction.

Twitter/Instagram: @len_klapdor

Our Paintings | Bryana Saldana

Anna Shvets via Pexels

Fingers twist to
make paintings
out of bodies,

surrendered power for
euphoric happenings —

run away from my grip
and I will find you in
your rolled eyes,

clutching your chin —
drippings.

I found your soul
in the — locks
our eyes twist

between the whimpers —
a painting comes to life.


Bryana Saldana is 27 y/o Afro-Latina, Lesbian, Poet & Writer. Here work can be found here https://watermarkonline.com/?s=Bryana+Saldana.

Studio 6 | Krista Sanford

Quang Nguyen Vinh via Pexels

the lake outside my apartment is man-made.
perfectly circular,
a backdrop of a skyline reflection.
i look in the gentle waves
and see the reflection,
not of me but of the old hotel,
right off the interstate,
the hum of cars a constant tune.
a girl and a boy–mid-twenties.
hiding from the world,
their punishment:
endless exile.
they sit on the rocks.
he takes a hit, passes it to her through a kiss.
smiles all around.
how simple they must be,
how perfect.
their secret hideout.
never actually feeling like home.


I have been published in Junepine Magazine, Livina Press, Black Moon Magazine, Horned Things, & others. My first chapbook, fatboy: a collection, is available on Amazon. Find me on Twitter, @k_leesan.

Sexy-sulcus | Barney Ashton-Bullock

Nida via Pexels

Corybantic neural frissons flicker-whip the cranial eroto-nano
sentinels. Their synaptic luminosities demarcate circumstantial
flitty congruence from a turbid opportunistic carnal dissonance.
From all such ‘making do’ of the coasting of entitled auto-cruise
and its possessed ever briefer follow-thru of perfunctory grind
and resultant rote sput, sput. From the satiated chuckle, wink
and part of leaving and its ever unmuttered ‘I don’t love you’, ‘I
don’t need you’ and the default non-committal nod, skewed eyes
averted, in passing, somewhere just as dark, sometime soon…


Barney Ashton-Bullock is the poet in the hybrid pop/theatre/music act ‘Andy Bell is Torsten’. His latest books are ‘Geopoliticus, Pupsy!’ (Red Ceilings Press) and ‘Cul-de-Sacrilege!’ (Polari Press).

Sweet to Sour | Regina Jade

Loc Dang via Pexels

Kiss me, my darling,
For the clock is ticking.
Midnight is coming
And when the bell tolls,
My glass slippers will become ratty sneakers
My ball gown will become faded jeans
My pumpkin carriage will become a beat up car.

Kiss me, my dearest,
And kick start a different transformation.
Turn me from a girl into a woman,
Change my flavor from sweet to sour.
As night becomes day,
And fifteen becomes sixteen.

Kiss me.


Regina Jade is an Asian American writer and poet. Her recent work appears in Kaleidoscope – A Queer Anthology from Cloaked Press and Prismatic Dreams from All Worlds Wayfarer.

Twitter: @thereginajade