Suspecting Myself of Happiness

by Lilia Marie Ellis

“Blue Leaves” by Asma Al-Masyabi

Perhaps something, after all; which raspily breathes when the years clear away; layer by cobwebbed layer; perhaps formerly packed tight and perhaps now lurking or biding or (at last) making its agonizing and graceful debut; what I’ve long believed I’d one day deserve, upon attainment, feels made of guilt and guesses and long-dead stars; like when God relented; and the rain stopped; and Noah gazed out at a stark and lovely Earth; no longer adorned; and said to himself, did I ever ask for this miracle;

Lilia Marie Ellis (they/she) is a trans writer. Their chapbook Love and Endless Love was published by giallo. Follow them on Twitter/Instagram @LiliaMarieEllis!

Asma Al-Masyabi is a poet, writer, visual artist, and student in Colorado. She is a Scholastic Silver Medal Poetry winner with publications in Taking Root: The Girls Write Now 2022 Anthology, Subnivean, The Ilanot Review, Up North Lit, and more. She’s currently pursuing an associate degree in English, after which she plans to major in creative writing. She looks forward to a career filled with words and art, her two biggest passions.

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