Some of the PhDs I Will Write in Heaven | Jeremy Allan Hawkins

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Normative Modes in Acoustic Reprisals of Jeff Buckley: 1999 – 2007

Downward Trends in Reproductive Cycles among Heavy Users of Frozen Pizza

Radio Interference: Gertrude Stein and the Noise of “Patriarchal Poetry”

Bush’s Brush Touch: The Painted Realities of a Former President

Far Too Many Stories: A Longitudinal Study of Architectural Fuck-Ups in Library Construction in the Age of Computer-Aided Design

Relativist Frameworks for the Appearance of Dragon Fruit Sculptures

Melody vs Solo: Ontological Disputes Surrounding Slash’s Guitar Performance on “November Rain”

White Guilt and Habitual Masturbation Behaviors

Laboratory Language: The Jargon of Modernist Science in “Experimental” Writing

Preferentiality in Tuscaloosa: A Taco Casa Case Study

Interpretive Strategies during Rejection Scenarios within Human Male Populations

The Contemporary Cento as Technicity for Ego Construction


Calvinist Clock Towers: Swiss Protestant Communities and Oppressive Monuments in Capitalist Time Management since the Reformation

I Don’t Want a Funny President: The Affective Turn in the Obama Years

Flight Behaviors of Urban Swallows in Western Europe

Le Corbusier, Prison Warden

Lyric Presence and the Endless Suspension of Grief

Moving Mountains: Theories of Limit and Pure Possibility

Culinary Preservation Practices among Montemaggioresi Emigrés in Interwar Bay Ridge

Choose Your Own Thesis

Qualitative Depreciation in Tarantino Productions Following the Widespread Disappearance of Constraint

A Document over which I Cried and Cried and Cried Wolf

Fractures in Prevalent Frameworks for the Unidirectional Flow of Time

Put to Sleep by Atheists: Rhetorical Strategies in Anti-Theist Activist Communities

Spatial Poetics: Poetic Practices and Spatial Design

Quantitative Analyses of Why the Letter E is the Greatest Letter of the Roman Alphabet

Punchline Abelard and Heloise: A History of Weird Intimate Jokes

Authorial Myths and Work Ethic Formation

Just a Cheeseburger, Please: Economic Grounds for Passing on the Meal Deal

Studies Toward a Paraconsistent Understanding of the Really Real

The Right Side of History: Whatever the Hell That Means

A Selection of My Favorite Pennies

Fluid Dynamics in the Fiction of James Baldwin

Observers from Vienna: The Role of American Civil War Tactics in the Founding and Prolongation of the Austro-Hungarian Empire (Annex: How American Troop Supply Practices Set the Scene for World War in the Following Century)

Post-Facto Protest: Continued Demonstrations by Anti-Vietnam War Activists in the 21st Century

Start with Something Catchy: Then Break It Down: Colon Usage in PhD Titles: A Demonstrative History 

More Things to Disapprove of in Switzerland

This Isn’t Water: David Foster Wallace and the Diluting of Buddhist Practices for the Benefit of the Capitalist Status Quo and Compounded Alienation

Adulation in the Academic Community since the Invention of Shakespearean Scholarship

So Now I Know Who Shot JFK and Where I Left that Talk Talk Album

Inadvertent Homages to Jason Noble in the Plastic Arts

Necessity as a Construction and the Politics of Not Just Oppression but Grinding Domination

Poetries Various and Sundry

Who Knew Clouds Could Taste So Good: A Critique of New Directions in Afterlife Studies

Jeremy Allan Hawkins is author of A Clean Edge (BOAAT 2017) and Enditem. (Beir Bua FORTHCOMING).

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