The English professor in a nightmare still wants that paper turned in | James Burdick

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Dear student who graduated ten years ago,
This is Professor [EARSPLITING STATIC NOISE] emailing you in hopes that you remembered to finish that
paper on finding all the symbols in all literature forever
The paper needs to be sent to me in a file that has long since become obsolete. I will not take anything
that comes in DOC, PDF, Open office, or any simple to use formats.
I will not take any excuses. I don’t want to hear how your fingers have fallen off and replaced with
snakes with you father’s face.
Have a wonderful dream this semester

Jim Burdick is a writer living in Rhode Island, making his way into literary society by short fiction and humor alone. He is also a dog person.

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