build (don’t buy) a king size hot tub on the roof of your home
* re: landlord complaints – forgiveness is always better than permission
climb inside your new roof tub and begin to slowly fill it with jelly beans
* stock up on these prior to construction
with every bean, announce a reason you’re glad to be in this lovely tub
* once you run out, list all the things you can see from up there (e.g. bird!)
realize when finished that you’re now trapped under 500 gallons of candy
* minus your own weight, of course
eat enough to ensure your escape, and leave the Bean Tub a winner!
* and anyway, [REDACTED] never asked your permission to die, did they?

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Playwright, sometime poet, short story writer. @RobAbuSharr on Twitter